I felt such an incredible burst of joy when i saw my son’s piece of work that he accomplished during his art class last week. It’s a picture of a cow in a barn eating hay. There is a hidden “moo” behind the hay, and he also wanted the cow to have an air-conditioner in the barn too. 555. I don’t have the time to explain, very occupied with full-time work atm - but yeah - i loved this picture so much that i’m going to use it as my background wallpaper on my desktop now.
Interesting adventures in website design with work atm. I’ve been forced to confront code. *gah*
I’ve endured a very steep learning curve with PHP the last year, very thrilled with my progress. My brain is gaining a good grasp with some of the Mysql stuff. My brother’s been a great support - gave me a good tutorial last week and my mother’s pitched in with the effort by purchasing a reference manual to cover all this apache/Mysql/PHP stuffings.
At this end right now - i am somewhat disgraced by the lack of grace i see in the programming end of this work. It’s messy, lacks clean hierarchy and has such a pathetic sense of “chippy choppy” ad-hoc-hack-isms. It doesn’t function with the Firefox browser either (oh, what a headache!) *lol*. It’s like the ability to program generates a form of obfuscation - where the end-users, the lay people who only see the end-result - can’t see how ugly, messy and lazy the programming stuff actually looks like in the underbelly. I know that good programmers can see this sort of messy & sloppy code stuff though.
I’m still on the “outside” looking in but it feels good that I’ve had a number of achievements today.
Lucky to have such a great brother who’s a first-class programmer. He’s provided so much fantastic support and i’ve also been moved by how mum has pitched in like this too.
Although many C64 games were fairly “unisex” for me - I still faced many which featured males as the primary protagonist all the time. Come to think of it - Hollywood films are comparitively, not too different!
This wasn’t too much of a big deal for me, but i did experience something magical as a young girl when my life finally encountered a game known as Yie Ar Kung Fu, especially when the female opponents, Fan & Star appeared - dressed in RED! (no! never in pink, it must always be a pomegranite red, for me!)
Like - wow, finally - a female fighter! About bloody time. Fan was my favourite. I loved her dress, that she appeared to be brunette and i also liked the fans that she chucked. You can see these ladies in fighting action here:
This gameplay makes me laugh so much as i used very similar moves to win. Primitive compared to the complex martial arts moves you can muster on a PS2 with a game like Tekken in this era.
When Fan entered into my life, i felt so much peace and hapiness being the way that i am, or perhaps it was a reflection of where it was that i needed to go…
The Leura flies have been rather psychotic of late and yesterday’s weather was equally over-the-top. We’re still experiencing the familiar pattern of very hot sunny days followed by dramatic thunderstorms in the afternoons that form roughly around 3pm - whenever i’m about to pick my son up from school.
A shame i didn’t have my camera to pick up the very dark formations of clouds before the storm struck. They were a very deep dark blue-grey, darker than usual - a very ominous-feeling energy because of the way it was effecting the quality of luminence. Not the kind of clouds that i would usually associate with pending hail, but still perceived it could be a possibility as very hot weather followed by a sudden cool storm are usually the conditions that do occur …and we’ve had small fleetings of hail during the storms of late too.
Lots of hail for 2007, have never seen this much before.
We experienced very small hail at our place, no bigger than 4mm here, but as weather elements tend to be more extreme in the higher altitudes, i’m sure it would’ve been must worse in other areas. Our car has thankfully survived well as we don’t have a carport or a garage that can offer it shelter. Caught a weather report on the late night news announcing that the Blue Mountains region was struck with hail, 1500+ homes/shops without power.
We had three waves of blackouts with electricity, two of them lasting a good hour or two. This is one aspect of the mountain life i’m not too thrilled with - the electricity network is very vulnerable to power-outages during thunderstorms. We have to always turn the computers/electronic/modem gear off when we hear thunder because the house is destined to experience a brown-out at the very least. This house is much better at dealing with it compared to the former one, which experienced a lot more brown-outs even during good weather conditions - which is hellish for the computers.
It would be good to source some kind of power-backup/battery i could plug into the back of the computers to at least give us adeqate time to shutdown which functions similar to my son’s laptop.
After the first afternoon storm struck around 3:30pm-4:30pm, we experienced a calm & clear-skies returned again. Figured it was a good excuse for me to head out for my ritual afternoon walk/jog around the town. To my amusement, the clouds quickly returned and another severe storm was about to emerge as i headed out and i wasn’t going to allow the weather to stop me.
The rain began to start pelting down towards 1/3 of my journey. A kind man offered me a lift - but no thanks, i wanted the exercise. By the time i reached town, the severity of the storm had amplified - freak lightning strikes followed by loud claps of thunder - a great shame i didn’t have my camera but it wouldn’t have survived getting soaked by the torrential dumping of rain anyway. Had to take shelter under the shop awnings for a while to wait for the rain to subside a bit, then made the brave jogging bolt back home.
Here i am, completely soaked by the time i got home, but it was an amazing experience to run in heavy rain. It almost felt like i was swimming! Very cathartic to not allow the weather to stop me but also an extra charged element of adrenalin throughout it all as this town is laden with trees everywhere - not the safest of places to run through with severe lightning strikes occuring. Had to ask hubby for a towel and strip-off at the front door. *lol*
I’m feeling thrilled with the impact that regular exercise has had on the body and levels of fitness. I’ve never been able to run non-stop for such long periods of time like i can now, and it’s such an incredible feeling. No post-exercise pain in the muscles either - it’s been remarkable. I’m enjoying the emerging physical strength a great deal as well, it has helped well with internal confidence. To be able to tune the body up to be in a good position for self-defence, to walk in the streets at night, without “woman fear” - would be something grand and i look forward to getting there with time.
With no electricity available to cook dinner, had to head out into Katoomba in the car to hunt & gather for the family together with my son. Visibility was very poor due to the region being in blackout and i witnessed one of the most intense strikes of lightning I’ve ever seen on the way as well. Pity the camera wasn’t nearby, but it’s not like i could take a shot whilst driving either.
When we got into town, there were fire engines with uber-flashy lights blocking the supermarket entries (acute sensory overload for my son, but it’s too exciting at this stage rather than negative). NO BEER - the liquor shop got flooded. NO FOOD - the supermarket was locked down due to enduring an electrical fire. Again, pity i didn’t bring the camera around the capture the electric drama but oh well, maybe next time!
This upset my son a great deal, and the poor thing was already highly agitated from the storms before we left.
Power was eventually restored so the town began to light up again. A very joyful sensation which reminds me of the times that water used to get cut-off during my stay in Turkey. Whenever the water was restored, you could hear the community/neighbours cheering so this is how you used to know that the water was back again (then joyfully run to the toilet and be able to flush it, instead of using a bucket).
Takeaway Kebabs it was for dinner then, but the shop no longer had EFTPOS - so this meant i had to pray hard that the ATM machine at the bank was still working. For my son (with autism) on the otherhand, this was a great tragedy and his body had been thrown into sensory overload -
“We’re not getting served, we’re not going to get our dinner!”
It upset him a great deal, he cried a lot. How to explain the magnitude of a cry like that? It’s the equivalent of “the world is coming to an end!”. Sure - I guess all children experience this to a degree, but i know in my experience - situations like this are a whole load more intense for my husband & me to cope with compared to the neurotypical families.
There is no amount of hugz, attempts to reason with words and offer rational explanations that can sooth a cry like that from Aidan. We can do our best to try, but once it’s in the motions - it’s often the situation of things needing to run it’s own full course until it finds it’s own resolution.
EXERCISE - hard labour & linear movement, is one technique that can help. No time for “madonna & child” - it’s not going to work. Money - i needed money real fast,
“It’s ok - we just need to go to the bank, go to the hole in the wall to get the money, then we can get the food. Come on , let’s go!”
Oh the humanity, it’s the end of the world for him and it would have indeed been the end of the world for me if that ATM machine wasn’t working. Just picture it….
A mother runs frantically towards the ATM, the machine has been rooted from the electrical storm, no money = no food, this will cause even more extreme pain/terror to the child!
As i’m running towards the ATM machine, I am already catching the judgemental look of one woman - one which i have been incredibly familiar with,
“What kind of a mother allows her child to cry like that in public and not know how make it shut the fuck up (in the tradition of madonna-and-child) at the click of a finger.”
This no longer affects me. I am this child’s mother and i am the one who knows how to best handle this situation. Quickest access to money, physical money - a visual confirmation of MONEY in hand is the only possible way to sooth this child’s acute distress (which can’t be consoled by rational “reasoning” via spoken words or hugz) - in an instant.
To my relief, there’s another woman at the ATM making a successful money transaction when i arrive - thank goodness, the ATM machine was working. It would’ve been such a major drama if it hadn’t, it would’ve made my son scream with terror even more. Phew!
My son finally catches up with me at the ATM, just as i’m pulling a $50 bill out of the machine - he’s still crying.
“See Aidan, here is the money - see, see - look, it’s here (flashes and waves the money at him) - we’re going to be OK, now we can take the money back to the shop, pay the man and we can get our food. See, it’s OK honey, we’re going to be ok!!!”
My son cheers up in an instant. The world is not about to end after all and he starts to laugh.
“Now come on, let’s get back to the shop!”
…and he’s racing me down the hill, running and laughing.
“Not too fast! Slow down Aidan, you don’t want to fall over, it’s a steep hill!”
“Not too fast, slow down!”
“Slow down!”
“Slow down!”
This is the equivalent of the autistic kid in the “Mercury Rising” film with Bruce Willis, standing on the railway tracks and there’s a train headed towards him. The world is screaming at him,
“GET OFF THE TRACKS!”
…but the kid doesn’t hear it.
I still have confidence in my child nevertheless - that i’m aware he’s moderately aware and capable of being able to take care of himself. He’s aware that he might be challenging limits, but i can see how he’s also got an understanding that he’s capable of handling it better than his own mother thinks that he can.
As for the joy - my son probably spent no longer than a minute in distress, was able to recover from it so quickly - almost at the click of a finger and he did it all by himself. For him to be able to self-regulate such strong emotions in the manner that he did, was truly remarkable - a significant achievement.
We walk into the Kebab shop, i pick up the Kebabs whilst Aidan takes on the role of picking up the drinks. He throws up a melodramatic expression of,
“Oh, these bottles are so heavy! Oooh. Ahh. Oooh. They’re soo heavy.” *stomp* *stomp*
It makes the customers grin & laugh. It makes me laugh because my son’s being a stand-up comedian - and he’s very good at it.
Good to arrive home, enjoy rare take-away food laden with MEAT.
“Sorry love, no BEER - Liquorland got flooded and Coles got FIRE.”
…so husband jumps into the car to hunt & gather for a second round to see if he can make the Leura liquor store in time before it closed and we rounded the evening up with Baileys on Ice instead.
It was a great night.
The psycho flies of Leura are back with a vengeance this year. Late October was the season they initially struck last year, and i’m beginning to wonder if it’s somehow related to the community ritual of donging on the stinky blood’n'bone onto the lawns which preside in this Garden Village.
The weather this week has been showing a pattern of sunny hot mornings followed by thunderstorms in the afternoons of late. It was a loose theory that psycho-flies with frenetic & agitated flight paths usually acted like this before a pending storm - now i think i can confirm it. This phenomena may not necessarily occur on every single occasion, but on many occasions - it does, especially during the summer.
Psycho-flies that stick and try to dive into the ears, it’s incredibly annoying and difficult to walk the streets without CONSTANTLY swatting. Some people can tolerate this better than others, but i don’t fair well with it and neither does my son. Despite loading ourselves with insect repellent - the Leura Flies appear to be somewhat immune. Although the warmer weather is a welcome comfort to the body, it’s times like these where you miss the cold winters that have a considerably lower fly-count.
I have many moments throughout life regretting that i had not taken a career path in the armed forces. Not sure how much of this is influenced because my father was in the Navy, although i know it has played a significant part. I loved the shoot-em-ups so much on the C64 but i also loved holding a gun in my hands too. Never a real one though, the farthest i ever got was something like a bibi-gun - always at the amusement parks. Feel strong bonding with my father when he taught me how to aim, and my aim has always been pretty good 
I miss some of my old male buddies that i met through inter-school debating eons ago, they were rather into the whole “skirmish” thing and my heart still yearns to engage in at least one paintball skirmish in this lifetime.
Games like Duke Nukem, Doom & Descent have been some of my favourites, but there’s great sentimental nostalgia with earlier games like Commando, Platoon & Green Beret. Commando in particular - i loved the music in that game and have enjoyed learning to play it on the violin alongside the C64 emulator on my PC.
Rock version of the Commando song performed by PRESS PLAY ON TAPE.
Music was composed by Rob Hubbard - both my brother & me have always been enchanted by his music, enjoyed playing some of the songs together on the piano.
As for my favourite film - it is Commando with Arnold Schwartzneggar. I have always been a big Arnie fan. Each time i watch this film, i attempt to do a “body count”. It was a ritual tradition that a male friend used to do and i now share this game with Mitch. We always loose count when the buildings start to explode…
I don’t condone violence in real life, but i do enjoy shoot-em-ups, a lot.
Hmm… have been a little pre-occupied with body-hair lately, how it was that i got hard-wired into believing it was something bad or an unfeminine way to be. It was really interesting to catch some youtube videos of hairy women - those who had even more than me, let alone those who had as much as me.
I personally found it really refreshing, somewhat normalising too - seeing hair on other women, really didn’t make them appear to me as being any less of a woman after all. It was really good to see other women not owning any shame over it. Surprising to realise that some guys actually do enjoy hairy women too. It’s not exactly the status quo with the surrounding pop-culture i grew up with, but still intriguing nevertheless.
Hmm… perhaps all this pre-occupation with body hair is an indirect attempt to prepare my body for the onslaught of PAIN with hair removal atm. *lol*
For crazy thinking mums who have a bloody sense of humour!
