aka R’acquel

Is it tragic that i only own two pairs of shoes? I know i’m not the only female who is like this but it has been difficult on my perception of gender identity to constantly receive input from sources like media that presents women as shoe-junkies.

I can respect other women’s need have an entire closet dedicated to shoes (hey, a tonnage of so many different clothes even) but i can’t understand or relate to the “why”. It makes me feel left-out or on the “outside”, that i’m not as-female/feminine for being how i am. Actually, it’s more than just things like clothes and shoes that make me feel like that.

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It’s been a while since we last had a thwacking thunderstorm. This house has been in a much better position in terms of it’s electrical wiring as i don’t miss the frequent brown-outs at the former place. Should’ve known better to press forward with embroidery upon the sounds of thunder in this town. It’s quite nasty when the electronics zap out!

Very ominous storm yesterday, which had some hail and sleet. Lightning was striking straight overhead as well, shortly followed by the sounds of sirens.

Facing west, dark coloured clouds lying underneath - moving very fast.

Facing north, same thing happening. Then it started to pelt down with rain. Again, movement following same usual pattern of a NW direction. While it’s a positive that can help push bushfires away, it’s not too cool when you have hail that strikes west facing windows. Thankfully, they weren’t too big.

This was perhaps the most perplexing sight of all. A sudden overcast system delivering fire & brimstone from the heavens to be followed by emerging sunshine again so quickly. A strong constrast in weather for the day. When i picked up my son from school, there was snow-like sleet in clumps on the grounds. Pity i didn’t bring the camera!

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Have been a busy bee at the machine this week, attempting to craft up items i can sell to make a spare bit of cash on Ebay. If they don’t sell, i can enjoy them in my own home. I’m quite surprised by how just a few pillows here has really given the living room quite a lift atm. Having fun!

These are my favourites. Miniature satin pillow christmas ornaments, but i wish they were made out of chocolate! *yum* They’re far too tiny for a good pillow fight though! *lol*

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Have made progress with my 4th attempt to run up the stairmaster 2000 mountain without stopping. Hard to convey the distance with photography but my previous attempt as a visual reference is here.

Have reached the halfway point of the entire distance without stopping now. Clocked about 40km of walking since the last attempt. Current walking goal is set to 15km/week. I’ve mapped out a 4.5km circuit for myself which takes about an hour, try to head out as much as i can. Usually clock around 20km, but i keep the end goal low and achieveable in the event of life circumstances getting in the way.

It’s getting easier to climb up the steepest part of the hill. Still challenging, but it feels good to slowly conquer it.

Interesting morning walk today. A very warm 21C start but there is rain on the way. The appearance of the weather pictured above, dramatically shifted within the course of a minute or two!

As i was walking up the hill, i turned my head around and had a momentary panic attack because it almost looked like a potential bushfire had errupted in the valley.

Heatwaves for the last 2-3 days, but to my relief, it was low lying fog. I’ve been rattled by the fire storm bushfires in California striking at the moment.

A very fast travelling fog from a SE direction. I could see all the way to the neighbouring suburb of Katoomba in the west one minute, then boom - obscured by fog.

No video camera on me, but I’ve always loved the sensation of seeing fog move, feels like walking in the clouds. It was amazing to see this mass of fog travel towards the left of this picture, and even more to walk right into it when i reached the corner. It felt like my eyes needed windscreen wipers!

Completely blanketed with fog by the time i head back down the mountain towards home.

Rapid cooling on the way.

When i headed out of the house with my son to take him to school, his immediate commentary was,

“Oh No! It’s winter again!”

Quite funny when it gets really hot here. He always asks if it’s global warming that is causing the weather to be so hot. *lol* It’s been beautiful to watch him slowly learn and understand about the different functions of seasons.

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I’ve worked it out. How hot the day will be is dependant on how much the morning temperature deviates from the usual average.

The average indoor temperature readings for October in the mornings have been around 15C. The morning in my former post started at 20C, unusually 5C+ higher than normal. While it only reached 27-28C here, temperatures soared to 35C in Sydney - where ominous suburban fires errupted in the south-west region.

In a single day, heat has been rising up by 7-8C+ on average here. This has been really useful to discover because now i can dress my son more appropriately for school. If the morning starts at 20C, with no rain-clouds in the picture to make a “sunny day” - i know he will need to wear shorts!

The temperature peaks at around 3-4pm, starts cooling down at 5pm. According to reports, October has been 3C+ warmer than average. It has been unsettling to experience summer heat in the heart of spring but we’re thankfully better sheltered from it compared to Sydney.

Micro-climates are still distinctive here and they don’t cease to fascinate me. Looks like this house will be cooler compared to the former place due to the hills providing more barriers against the sun. This house has been 2-3C+ warmer compared the former one. The brick facade possibly makes a difference as the other place was made out of wood but i sense the temperature is also cooler as well. We don’t get as much fog here and the extreme weather elements hit more noticeably at the higher altitudes.

It’s been really fascinating to discover the advantage that comes with living on the eastern sides of a mountain too.

Sunrise is currently 5:09 am, sunset 6:18pm. This will change on the weekend with daylight savings on Sunday 28 October 2007 at 2 am, when the clocks will be pushed forward by an hour. This never used to bother me in the past, but it has unsettled me quite noticeably in the last 2 years - as i’ve grew far too reliant on Microsoft windows to automatically change the hours for me. Seems to work better if you know that it’s arriving in advance to psychologically prepare for it so i think i’ll survive ok this round.

Enjoying the empowerment that’s resulted in being able to predict how a day will pan out with more accuracy now.

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Fish - is a hard ingredient to access in these parts. Not much variety here in the supermarket but even when i was living in Sydney, the Fish Markets was still a source of lost confusion beyond my numerous attempt to master the Thai Tom Yum Goong (a hot prawn soup) during those days i had the spare time before our son arrived.

The most commonly ingested format over here would be fish’n'chips (almost always if it’s a visit to the beach) and it’s never travelled beyond a tin of tuna paired with a small dab of mayo and spring onions in a sandwich in this home. Perhaps the odd instance of enjoying sardines. As for cooked fish in general - it’s virtually non-existent on both sides of this family.

Currently on a journey to learn how to stomach more salmon, bring more of this oily fish into the family diet. I learnt from my previous experience, that it’s much better to buy it fresh compared to out of a tin. It’s much less offensive in the smell department for me.

I don’t stomach the pairing of dairy or pasta with fish too well, so am on the search for recipes that can extend the “lemon & herb” route. Attempted a Jamie Oliver based recipe for this round.

Herbs included basil, dill, parsley and majoram, but i could only taste the basil. Husband claims he could taste the dill, but i was completely aloof to it.

Key stuffing ingredient was black olives. They did a fantastic job of replacing lemon. It really didn’t need lemon zest.

Seasaoned both sides of the fish with salt & ground white pepper. You’re supposed to stuff & wrap the salmon packages with string, but i couldn’t do this so it panned out to be more of a salmon sandwich.

In future, I’m just going to concentrate on flavours that compliment the olive base. Feel glad i’ve found a good alternative to lemon and look forward to experimenting further with this ingredient.

Hubby enjoyed the 5 star dinner. I kind of enjoyed getting back in touch with the old gourmet cook-within that got blitzkrieged after childbirth.

There is still sporadic sadness with this loss which was quite harsh and distinctive for me, like a death. Long gone are the days it could take a whole week to prepare an exotic dish, days where hubby and i could debrief after work at exotic restaurants up to 2-4 times a week at times, and those days of travelling to specialist shops to source unique ingredients that were often far too expensive.

These days, i can make my peace that the old-cook hasn’t quite died. The function has somewhat shifted towards cooking “for a family” and for now - i can still make my peace that it’s still always home-cooked, almost always from-scratch and very low on the processed-food components. I’m still very efficient and skilled in the kitchen. Can take pleasure in knowing how to organise things so well that i always know what’s on for dinner now.

Enjoying how the salmon journey has helped me to reconnect to an old way of life again.

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The house got it’s first test with the pending summer that looms around the corner yesterday. Indoor temperature rose to 25C by the afternoon. The mercy of this house’s location and orientation is that there is a mountain which blocks the sun’s harshness in the afternoon.

Even though it was hot, i was mesmerised by how the sunlight completely penetrates the entire house. Boom - it is a flooding and there is something very healing about it.

Definitely the sort of sun which needs to be sheilded by the blinds, butt - you can open all the windows to let the cooler mountain air in. To my joy, the cross-ventilation in this place is possibly the best I’ve ever experienced.

The bedrooms facing on the east side are all cool, the entire east side is cool. It felt like devine intervention striking again.

No token photos but if i could take one - it would be the lichen which has formed on the dowel stick that has probably prevented the bathroom window from being opened eversince the building’s completion.

Sleep deprivation is getting quite bad again. I’m completely responsible. Average dose of seroquel should be 150-175mg. I know this, but i’ve been working hard with increasing exercise levels. My heart seeking less medication, to do without it - to manage on less, and i know cutting it back down to 50mg has been drastic.

As for why i have continued with the lower dose, it’s because i’ve been getting up at 5am in the mornings again. Early mornings like that - it’s really benefitial for me. Anywayz. Enough chitter chatter. It’s 5:09 am and the luminence is wonderful. Time for me to shut up and go for my 4.6km walk before the blazing Australian sun starts to strike.

20C this morning. It’s the warmest morning to date. Looks like it has the potential to become a ripping 30C stinker with such a warm beginning like this, but the sky is currently overcast. Perhaps it was the blanket of clouds that kept the land warm.

I need to get back to my satelite pictures but i also have a deadline for the dress. Sleep deprived on top of it all. For now, i need to shut up and go for a walk.

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