aka R’acquel

Mitch was away on business at the Medieval Fair on the weekend. Australia’s currently placed some kind of lock-down on horses due to an outbreak of horse flu which seems to be rather devasting according to the news reports tonight. This problem sadly affected the festival’s highly popular jousting events which had to be cancelled because of it.

My son loves his dad fiercely. They have a very strong symbiotic bond together which was influenced by how the event of childbirth panned out. I was rendered unconcious from the emergency c-section while hubby took on the role of surrogate mother straight after Aidan’s birth.

I really enjoy the precious 1:1 time with my son while his Dad is out of the picture on business. It gives us space to grow closer together during these times. We get more organised & in-sync with each other. What’s probably impacted our relationship together a great deal is because our son had both parents in his life at home, fulltime for the first two years, where in many families - the husband goes back to work while the mother takes on the primary role as caregiver. I’ve enjoyed that our lives have been able to return to this lifestyle with both parents working from home again.

Anywayz, with Dad away from home on business (with brother-in-law pitching in for support), the deal is that some kind of token from a festival event must return home for Aidan. Usually - it’s a wrist-band, but this round - it was a dazzling light wand. Aidan performed his first “concert” to us last night, and we had another one lined up for tonight and mum was designated as the photographer.

The lights were turned off….

Wait! I need to focus the camera!!!

Lights get turned on… focus achieved - lights get turned off again.

I need the lights back on - i can’t find the button to turn off the flash!

Ok - we’re all set…and now - for the spectacular light show, with Aidan’s Concert No.2.

Who needs photoshop when you can draw pictures with a light wand instead?! *lol* This is one of my favourites captured.

These capture the “spirit” of my son so well. He’s just like how this light moves - constantly on the move like this since birth. He wasn’t easy to hold and refused to breastfeed just like this!

This one makes me laugh. The only way my son would ever feel like this in my arms is if he was “sleeping”. His frenetic constant spinning/twirling “octopus” body has experienced noticeable “smoothing” like this as he’s grown older. It’s nice to have the occasional moments that we can enjoy hugs together now (when before - he could only tolerate “backward” hugs when he finally mastered sitting on my lap without wanting to jump out of it like a fish out of water).

This “smooth” is misleading. The only reason it looks like that is because it was a fraction of a second compared to Aidan’s usual ways.

See - i told you so. You can see him starting to become more of himself again. *lol*

The ultimate highlight of the entire event for me, because this picture has truly captured the symbiotic bond between father & son, and yet that firey creature is the one that came out of my own body. This is very much what motherhood is like for me. These small moments just like this - that can help my body understand that this kid is my child and that he did come from me. Being unconcious during birth caused a great deal of harm and i’m glad that pain continues to grows less for me with time.

This one truly captures what my son was like to hold in my arms in the early days. Mitch is still there in the background and all that red going whoosh everywhere, is Aidan.

Here’s another version of the same kind of thing, but he’s waving hello to you in this one.

Waving hello frantically again - but then lays down into his father’s arms for a rest.

The End

…now, we have to make sure that we write thank-you notes for Aidan’s concert on post-it notes, which must be delivered under his bedroom door, otherwise he might get upset and continue to pester everyone until he gets all of his thank-you notes.

I was lucky because i remembered to do this last night, so Dad & brother-in-law got a big talking to this morning from Aidan to complete the bargain. Off to round up the boys to write some more thank-you notes, so he sees them on his pillow when he wakes up tomorrow morning. *lol*

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I had a dream this morning of my front yard being swamped by iris flowers blooming out of everywhere. It was very funny to peer out of my window this morning as i got up to catch the very first one beginning to bud in real life!

It’s currently 21C, 6:23pm. Precisely the kind of day that your local supermarket check-out person is going to comment on how lovely the weather is. Yesterday was a bit similar, just a little cooler. A friend located in the Sydney area commenting on how the weather felt like summer.

We experienced early spring weather like this at the beginning of August. I do feel that the seasons have shifted forward by an entire month this year. Premature spring. The plants are showing it though it’s a pity i couldn’t keep track of the cherry blossoms in the neighbourhood last year with photos to see how it compares.

Nice to not have the heaters running for two nights in a row.

Sleep-wise, things are beginning to get on the mend. Greatly resolved by taking a heavier dose of Seroquel which has helped me to clock more hours of zz’s. I shall be more diligent with my regular dose - see if it will help to stave off the cyclical nature of this problem as it does feel like relapse is caused by not having enough. See how it goes. It’s getting under control, but something to bring up with the doctor if altered doses don’t stop the cyclical nature of relapse. While medication has been incredibly effective, checking into a sleep clinic to monitor what happens within the brain to pinpoint the physical problem is something i will be bringing up with the doc with my next appointment.

The house is in excellent order, well organised. The weekend was a refreshing time to take up on high quality rest & relaxation.

I’ve acquired extra graphic design work with website maintenance which has added to an already heavy workload. I’ll have to be careful to take my time with it and not allow it to dominate with the 3-4 other streams of focus that require my time & skill to complete.

Figured it was worth timing-out via blog to signify - 6:35pm - TIME for work to STOP and TIME for me to head off into the kitchen to cook up a nourishing slow-cooked meal for my family.

Probably best to leave things with the client and have her call me as it suits her rather than follow up work like this after 7pm. 95% of my design breifings are managed effectively over the phone. This job is begining to sound like a trip into Sydney for a face-2-face meeting might need to be implemented if the nature of the task continues to “grow” in demand. Here’s hoping it can get clarified over the next phone conversation after we both get a good night of SLEEP. *lol*

Anywayz, off to the kitchen - the family’s stomach beckons with my brother-in-law being an extra addition to the family tonight, hence - another mouth to feed. Oh well, at least the compliments of thanks for my cooking will be doubled-up. *lol*

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Bad problems with sleep deprivation the last two weeks.

19-20 aug - 40hours without sleep

No more than 4 hours of sleep clocked last night.

Lack of negative feedback from my body is making the problem worse. It becomes too hard to take the medication. My body is resists it. Conscious reasoning fights it.

I will need to check in with my doctor soon. Might be an idea to go to a sleep clinic to see if they can explain why i am like this.

I tend to blame school - late nights staying up to complete work - never sleeping at all and therefore forced to stay awake and attend the next full day of school when i normally would’ve crashed.

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For the last 4 years or so - i haven’t been watching much television. For long periods within that time, i haven’t watched ANY television at all. As for how it all started - one day, our expensive GRUNDIG TV blew up. I can’t remember how much it was, but it was grossly expensive. It was only 3 years old and I’ve never had a single television blow up on me. Rather offensive when you spend so much money on quality - and then it blows up on you. *lol*

The cost to get it repaired was something like $360 - so we said “stuff that” at the time, for a good 3 months at least. That was the beginning of the change. Life had no television in it because it blew itself up. *lol* Life without television - was pretty good.

It was only recently when i had seen just how good the quality of our TV is since that explosion. Found myself in a department store a few weeks ago - “big TVs” - but after closer look, the quality of the image in many of them is very poor. Came back home that day and saw the quality of the picture at home and i was startled by the difference. So we weren’t crazy spenders at the time afterall. I couldn’t remember what the motive was to buy it was so it was nice to remember. It was the quality - we were gizmo/technology junkies.

So - the last house we were in had no television reception and we were trully loving our life without it. I remember moving into this house and that horrible feeling of connecting the TV into the plug - just to check if reception is working. It felt horrible to turn it back on but it felt good to see Oprah again. I continued working while listening to the oprah show like a radio station. I missed the “learning”. If it was an Oprah show that had nothing new to teach, no problem to switch it right off. That hasn’t changed.

Dirty politics has truly gotten up my goit in the last few weeks. I don’t sit down to watch the news - it was the stuff happening within the commercial breaks. I can’t believe how much i have allowed the television to upset and hurt me the way it has in the last 2-3 months since it came back into our life, but even moreso in the last few weeks with dirty politics dominating at saturation point. It’s been absolutely repulsive. Time to remove negativity like that out of my life - shit like that has no place or even any direct “relevance” to it either~! Serves me right for taking one too many subjects on media studies that gave me so much knowledge on TV’s evil ways to distort the truth with propaganda. Perhaps complete ignorance could have been bliss, but i’m glad i found that power by simply finding the “off” button.

A very long absense from TV has made my emotions less experienced in “defence” & the suspension of disbelief. It’s very hard for me to sit down to a film as well. I don’t cope well with the overstimulation of emotions anymore. It’s been very hard for me to sit down to an entire film and watch it from beginning to end for the last 3-4 years. I should’ve known better not to switch it back on.

How could i allow TV to make me forget just how good this life is here and convince me otherwise!?! I won’t accept that. My marriage is going well. My son is doing well. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in. I know how to cook nourishing meals for my family. I have friends who make me laugh. I see people making a big difference into the lives of others in this life right here in this town. The amazing thing is - it keeps getting better! Doom & gloom is not a part of my own life right here and right now. It doesn’t exist.

Spoke to the hubby. He agrees with me wholeheartedly - so we’re gonna pull the plug on that idiot box again. Our quality of life has always been much better without it. To just think of how much crap i will be cancelling out of my life by never turning it on again makes me feel much better already.

Time for me to get back onto the subject of weather. I obviously had more time for it when i wasn’t watching television.

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Good news - the meeting with the principal panned out well. My son was sick so i had to stay at home with my boy while hubby headed out to do the talking. Quite something to have hubby come home and see the look on his face. The familiar grin.

So - The Boss is onto things, inservice courses have been lined up for teachers, things are being addressed and confidences all restored. So lucky to have found such a fantastic school where people are so open to discussing things and working together.

Aidan continues to make great progress at school. He’s getting better at socialising, transitions, more task focused, better at sharing, listening, taking turns and he still loves school a lot.

So glad we moved into such an incredible town surrounded by so many other angels.

Going well …but i am seriously sleep deprived again and it’s becoming hazzardous to the health. MS is flaring up because of it so I’m taking good care to try and catch up on more zzz’s as sleep is the greatest tonic for healing.

Thanks for the giggles with the fly-swallowing post. I still can’t believe how that teacher did absolutely nothing when that thing went into her mouth! Look forward to catching up with folks when i get another spare moment over a golden cup of coffee

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Well, she didn’t exactly swallow it, but it did go in and stay in there for a while.

I was in year 9 - 1991. I had the home-science cooking teacher as my home class teacher, so our class “home” was inside the kitchen room. She was a scary kind of teacher, a high-anxiety stress generator.

It was a lazy summer afternoon and the heat was making the class feel very lethargic. I was watching the teacher talk and then i thought i saw a fly go into her mouth. I thought i was imagining things because this teacher didn’t make any “ewe” or “yuck yuck” coughing noises to get the fly out. She continued to talk on as if nothing happened - so i thought i was just imagining things, hallucinating.

Quite a while later (near to a good minute!), I saw the fly come out of her mouth again. At that point, i knew i was not imagining things so i looked over to my friend Tiffany who was sitting on my right. Tiffany had also turned her head towards me at exactly the same time. Both of our faces were communicating,

“Errr…. did you just see a fly come out of her mouth? I thought i was just imagining it when i first saw it go in!”

Both Tiffany & I ended up catching a major case of the silent giggles. We had to remain silent because we were scared of getting into trouble. As we were fighting so hard to keep quiet (which only made it even more funnier), the teacher finally saw the laughter-pain we were in so she thankfully gave us the permission to laugh out loud after that point.

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What do you do when someone makes you feel so angry that you want to smash their head in? I feel like wanting to to that to one of the teacher’s at my son’s school right now, just as she man-handled my child and hurt his body. Another one, I feel like screaming at by using foul words to make her feel really bad about herself in the same way that she has done this to my son.

Commiting myself to a very hard jog up the steep mountainside at the end of my street tonight after dinner to burn it out of my body. I wonder how far i’ll go as i’m so terrified of the dark.

Looking forward to clearing SHIT like this up when we have a formal briefing with the Principal on Monday, where the occupational therapist will hopefully also be able to make it. Taking the time to plan notes together with my husband so that we gain as much positive result out of it as we can.

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