Big theme in my life. Experimental 3D / Documentary. We interviewed a broad cross section of the community in response to the cover of a men’s magazine that was displayed in the streets of Sydney, Aug 1999.
To this day, i still don’t understand why they have women on the covers of women’s magazines. Perhaps we’re all lesbians.
The most painful laughs I have ever experienced in my life occured during the making of this short film, which is only just a small slither of just how crazy my husband & Sam Hughes got that night. Mitch is the one in the back who goes stir-crazy with the alluminium foil and Sam’s the one who knows how to do great things with a vacuum cleaner.
Experimental animation from 1998, one of my professional practise units @ uni. My own work in design has followed a very similar ethos ~ where i’ve had to be very selective about the kinds of devils i choose to sell my soul to.
When i did art, they told me ~ “that’s not art, it’s more like design”.
When i did design, they told me ~ “this is not design (not commercial enough), how do you expect to get a job producing work like that?! your target audience, it doesn’t even exist!”
I still continue to enjoy how Newtown Mums became the ultimate up-yours, to the latter.
Received a very patronising letter attempting to inform me about the provisions of the Education Act 1990 by a robot the other day, so this is my tongue-in-cheek reply ~ to that robot:
My typography teacher @ uni tried to fail me in the subject after these infamous words were submitted in a very naughty piece that broke all the rules and totally shitted all over the design brief. Rewarded with high distinction by another lecturer who happened to agree with it’s sentiment in this music video. For now ~ I am content with allowing this post to remain as it was originally intended to be.
A poem from 1997, which i’m now using in response to another stupid robot from 2008.
You Are A Robot
In negative philosophy,
time passes.
A lingering bad smell,
is stained upon the university walls.
Vacant stares,
evaporate into silence….
Tuberculosis,
on a hot
neon sign,
yearning for a good wank
in opulent water.
Sorrow burns tenaciously,
in an everlasting bubble of rushes.
I hate this so-called “God”.
Syphilis on him!
An absolute waste of copious time.
Of all that money has to offer,
I’m presented with this,
pathetic lecturer!
émigré?!
So what!
You are a robot.
Simon Says…
Doubt Yourself.
A seductive tool,
to remind us of time
and how distorted it becomes.
Away…. Away!
..at how the nadir darkens onto a
burnt-out pool of vomit.
Idiot!
Outrageously uncreative,
stupid,
little,
so and so.
Yearning to bring back to life,
dead old ways.
I close my ears,
to drown out your insipid notions.
FUCK YOU!
…I quietly scream.
Tolerating what I can…
You are a Robot.
Simon Says…
Confuse Yourself.
To you,
it’s all nothing!
Your idealism,
lacerates
every drop of inspiration.
A rancid reflection,
of eclectic lost causes.
How invigorating,
to see Neolithic half-witted dorks,
show their intolerance!
How do we fucking escape these contradictions?
Riot?!!
Stuff their mouths with
Kellogs Cornflakes?
~ Why not?!!
You are a robot.
Simon Says…
“Hate Yourself”
I know what lies ahead,
you have to find,
The Brain.
Only YOU,
can kill the brain!
Yes,
some of us just may disagree with your arguments.
Keen to attack it,
with our own opinion.
Then I think…
What good ~
…would that do?
Our own opinions,
are underrated,
and rejected ~
because having to listen to,
New Ideas,
don’t correspond to your own fucking idea of,
“evergreen design” ~
I fucking hate you!
Go on and forcefully insert your
foul iconoclast contradictions,
up into the air,
and hear us laugh at two baboons.
You people,
are the tyrannical rats,
of evolving dismemberment.
A long wait it becomes,
to complete the instructed tasks.
Buzz off,
Angel from Below.
I curse and will,
enjoy to see your stupidness
become further outmoded,
and DIE!
~
I felt such an incredible burst of joy when i saw my son’s piece of work that he accomplished during his art class last week. It’s a picture of a cow in a barn eating hay. There is a hidden “moo” behind the hay, and he also wanted the cow to have an air-conditioner in the barn too. 555. I don’t have the time to explain, very occupied with full-time work atm - but yeah - i loved this picture so much that i’m going to use it as my background wallpaper on my desktop now.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on my identity of late. Going through some kind of crystalisation of who i am. An experience of growth and heightened awareness.
While i’ve felt lost in the realm of cultural identity i know one genre of life where i know i have felt the strongest form of connection, joy and celebration of life. It’s been through music.
Music to me is perhaps similar to what alcohol is to an alcoholic. Clearly not safe and hazzardous to my health if i don’t take it in moderation.
When i hear medical commentary suggesting that people listen to music in order to help with getting better sleep, in order to help them sleep - it makes me laugh. I couldn’t possibly think of anything worse to do before bed. Even if a song is “calm” or “soothing” - it just stimulates me far too much to be in a position to be induced into sleep. Then again, perhaps I haven’t come across too many songs that do induce a state of helping to shut the body down.
I’ve got to admit - i did experience a strong sensation of melancholic restful peace & consolidation this after i followed up TorAa’s holocaust link in the former post. There clearly is an innate giftedness in the composer who wrote that piece of music functioning as the sountrack for this website. Of course, my taste and physical reaction to this song, is indeed my own individual experience of it.
I’ve been meaning to bridge with the following song in this video clip with a post for quite some time, titled “Cruicified” by the Army of Lovers.
I know Mrs.Lifecruiser will understand why i enjoy this piece, and she will perhaps resonate similarly to the fashion as i do with regards to the costume design.
I was cruicified on religious grounds during the time of this song’s release during late 1991, early 1992. The apparent “comedy” i find within it, was clearly a great way for me to “laugh my way through it.” Just a tender age of 14 going on 15 - it provided just the right kind of “up yours” to “the system” that helped me to grapple with feelings and experiences i was inadvertently forced to confront on my own. I have always enjoyed humour that is irreverant & cheeky.
The fashion - yes, i love the era of “renaisannce”. Another thing i enjoyed the most, is the so-called “gayness” of the male singer. By this, i mean the ownership of an attribute presiding within men that would make people pass judgement that he is “gay”, when really - even a hetrosexual man could own aspects of a quality like this too. I’ve always enjoyed men who have proudly owned and expressed this quality. Whether or not this is a specific icon of “homosexuality” - my life has been chronically depleted of representations of men like this in media. Or - i guess celebrity men who embue “masculinity”, perhaps Tom Cruise of Brad Pitt, that sort of male doesn’t do too much for me.
I generally don’t put much weight of what people look getting in the way of forming friendships, so this is simply just my own exploration of,
“Hey, i really like this - when men dress like this, i think it looks good.” (and not in a sexual sense).
I really like it when men embrace style like this. I really enjoy “frilly” shirts on both men and women. I find it classy, elegant and artistic. I don’t exactly feel comfortable with overt sexuality (feel it’s best behind closed doors), but to see men express themselves like this - i find it incredibly refreshing and inspiring. When i see men like this, i don’t think,
“What a less of a man”.
For me, it’s more like,
“What a man - look at this man, how wonderful to see the male figure look ‘beautiful’ like this.”
I can embrace it as something incredibly masculine, man-like. I admire it anyway. I find it very “attractive” and i’m incredibly curious to know how Chase feels, how he would judge the level of attractiveness in the singer with the black hair - how does that fit within his own schema of “ooh, that’s hot” or “ewe, how embarassing/gross”. Actually - i’m rather curious to know how other men (hetrosexual or otherwise) would judge and regard this singer too. Do they identify? Do they own a quality like this themselves? Can they admire or appreciate this? How does this singer’s “handsome-ness” fit within their own scale of what they feel makes a man look attractive?
Artists like Boy George had the same impact on me. So too did the Village People. So wonderful for me to see other reflections of men. As i see them embracing the supposedly “feminine” clasifications that exist, it has helped me to find peace with my own “masculines”. If i am able to see them as men - then i guess it could be the same for me as well. Acceptance of my femaleness as it is, that because i do not entirely mesh with the ideals presented via the projected norms of pop-culture, this really can no longer make me any lesser-of-a-woman.
Clearly going through a process of something begining to solidify within me. It’s almost as though life is commanding me to embrace, accept and integrate into my being. A good thing despite the level of emotions being somewhat intense.
When it comes to God, my feelings are similar to Lifecruiser’s. I still had a rather intriguing experience when i made this pillow the other day.
The journey first started out when i began to research for pictures of old Sultan’s signatures from the Turkish Ottoman empire. I’ve always loved calligraphy and remember the day when my Dad first introduced me to the Sultan’s signatures. It truly blew me out, that someone’s name could be written with such a complex combination of interesting swirls.
Anywayz, my journey got diverted as this quickly got me onto the calligraphic representation of the Islamic “Bismillah” - a translation for “In the name of God”. A similar calligraphic formation to the sultan’s signatures which can come in many kinds of shapes. I just happened to get taken away by the bird version, it blew me out. Just had to see what it looked like embroidered, i felt compelled to see how the design would look like if it was printed with threads instead of a pen.
It was a really humbling experience for me. There was something really wonderful about making it. I really enjoy what it’s trying to communicate - in the name of God, most gracious, most compasionate” …but i don’t think these words quite encapsulate it in the way that i can see and feel the calligraphy doing it from a design viewpoint.
It has left me wondering if other people from other religions who do believe in God, may find that it closely relates to their own relationship with God as it is expressed by the calligraphy. I know friends who are religous, have read their feelings towards God which closely resembles what i see in the way the lines have been drawn, the heart which lives behind the design. The expression which lives behind this calligraphic form does not come across like the significant icon of a cross that would stand for something like Chrstianity. For me, it’s like an expression of, “in the name of God(that great big power, wonderful thingie universe stuff, call it science if you want to, which has the capacity to generate beautiful things on this earth)”, not “in the name of a God who follows Islam”.
As for me, i’m like Lifecruiser on this front but my appreciation of this calligraphy is the artistic expression. A creative beauty which stands as a really beautiful form of human expression for me in it’s final representation. It has grace and elegance in it’s execution that i greatly admire.
I have my reasons for needing to stand in the sidelines with religion but i really enjoyed how humbling the experience was to explore calligraphy like this too.
“Those who say these words with thoughts of self-aggrandizement, or selfish gains, or self-centered vain profit in any manner, will receive their just reward… suffering, pain and confusion. Likewise, those who truly dedicate every step of their life to the glory and service of the Ever-present One shall also receive their just reward… peace, love and beauty.”
I didn’t exactly make this pillow in the name of God, but it was an exercise for me to connect with my family’s Islamic & cultural heritage that both my brother and me have been rather estranged to due to growing up in this country and my Dad also being an agnostic athiest who’s scientifically inclined.
As for the peace, love and beauty bit - oh yeah, i’m definitely a great advocate to anyone who strives for that lot. That’s probably why i’ve found this experience to be rewarding if anything. Made in the name of engaging in a process that can generate peace, love and beauty perhaps - regardless of how you get some, it’s good when life rewards you like that. I got some after making the pillow, it was rewarding! It’s such a wonderful piece of calligraphy that doesn’t cease to catch my eye each time i walk past the frigging pillow.
For crazy thinking mums who have a bloody sense of humour!
