aka R’acquel

Fish - is a hard ingredient to access in these parts. Not much variety here in the supermarket but even when i was living in Sydney, the Fish Markets was still a source of lost confusion beyond my numerous attempt to master the Thai Tom Yum Goong (a hot prawn soup) during those days i had the spare time before our son arrived.

The most commonly ingested format over here would be fish’n'chips (almost always if it’s a visit to the beach) and it’s never travelled beyond a tin of tuna paired with a small dab of mayo and spring onions in a sandwich in this home. Perhaps the odd instance of enjoying sardines. As for cooked fish in general - it’s virtually non-existent on both sides of this family.

Currently on a journey to learn how to stomach more salmon, bring more of this oily fish into the family diet. I learnt from my previous experience, that it’s much better to buy it fresh compared to out of a tin. It’s much less offensive in the smell department for me.

I don’t stomach the pairing of dairy or pasta with fish too well, so am on the search for recipes that can extend the “lemon & herb” route. Attempted a Jamie Oliver based recipe for this round.

Herbs included basil, dill, parsley and majoram, but i could only taste the basil. Husband claims he could taste the dill, but i was completely aloof to it.

Key stuffing ingredient was black olives. They did a fantastic job of replacing lemon. It really didn’t need lemon zest.

Seasaoned both sides of the fish with salt & ground white pepper. You’re supposed to stuff & wrap the salmon packages with string, but i couldn’t do this so it panned out to be more of a salmon sandwich.

In future, I’m just going to concentrate on flavours that compliment the olive base. Feel glad i’ve found a good alternative to lemon and look forward to experimenting further with this ingredient.

Hubby enjoyed the 5 star dinner. I kind of enjoyed getting back in touch with the old gourmet cook-within that got blitzkrieged after childbirth.

There is still sporadic sadness with this loss which was quite harsh and distinctive for me, like a death. Long gone are the days it could take a whole week to prepare an exotic dish, days where hubby and i could debrief after work at exotic restaurants up to 2-4 times a week at times, and those days of travelling to specialist shops to source unique ingredients that were often far too expensive.

These days, i can make my peace that the old-cook hasn’t quite died. The function has somewhat shifted towards cooking “for a family” and for now - i can still make my peace that it’s still always home-cooked, almost always from-scratch and very low on the processed-food components. I’m still very efficient and skilled in the kitchen. Can take pleasure in knowing how to organise things so well that i always know what’s on for dinner now.

Enjoying how the salmon journey has helped me to reconnect to an old way of life again.